By Julie Samrick
Growing up with 3 sisters and no brothers, you can imagine how strong the estrogen dynamic was at our house. Boys were definitely of another species. When my sisters and I were old enough to go to school dances in junior high our mom would equip us with plenty of advice of the inner workings of boys’ minds: “It takes a lot of courage to ask a girl to dance- so dance with a boy at least one song if he asks,” she’d say. In high school and college, when we had our eyes on someone in particular, she’d say, “Just smile- boys love a nice smile!”
Author Dr. Kenneth Ryan’s Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads is bursting with such advice for the teenage girl and young woman in mind. In a lively and conversational tone, Dr. Ryan lays it out like a trusted friend who knows what’s going on in boys’ heads- he is, after all, male.
Dr. Ryan explains that a prince is that rare kind of man young women should expect to find, and not to settle for one of the plethora of toads out there until they do. Princes are kind, honest and have integrity. Plenty of toads get married, he writes, “as they will be charming enough to convince a women to marry them; however the wife will end up carrying the load. She might endure a poor marriage or end up with divorce.” He lays out a strong case for how to spot toads and why they should be avoided.
So we’re convinced not to settle for anything less than a prince, but where can a girl find one? Dr. Ryan advises how in a chapter with just that title- “Where are the Princes Hiding?” And to truly tell the quality of someone’s character, don’t sit and watch a movie on an early date, Dr. Ryan says. Instead, he offers 60 date ideas to get to know someone, like mini golf or going shopping together; that’s when we really show who we are, instead of passively sitting in a dark movie theatre when we can’t see, let alone talk to, one another.
The book also has “10 Important Research Findings on Marriage and Choosing a Partner” that even the most emotion driven, love struck teenage girl can’t ignore.
I recommend Finding Your Prince in a Sea of Toads: How to Find a Quality Guy Without Getting Your Heart Shredded to anyone with a daughter between 14 and 25 years old. If it doesn’t also get conversations flowing between you, rest assured Dr. Ryan is a quality mentor they’ll listen to.
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