December 18, 2017

The Blurring of Needs Versus Wants

more moneyBy Julie Samrick

The fiscal cliff has been averted for now, but it’s only a matter of time before America faces more tough financial decisions.  This can be said about our own lives too. Our wants versus what we really need to pay for has clouded our thinking, so much so that luxuries like big screen TVs are now seen as necessities for many Americans.  In the 1950s the most wished for Christmas list items by 6-12 year olds were Matchbox cars and Barbie dolls. 1980s children were all about Rubiks’ Cubes and Cabbage Patch Kids.  Today? The most asked for Christmas list item by 6-12 year olds during this 2012 holiday season was an iPad while the MacBook computer came in a close second.  And the older kids get, the pricier the wants have become. For every one parent of teens I talked to who said their kids asked for modest things this Christmas, nine said their teens wanted cash to save for, or flat out directly asked for, items in at least the three-digit price range.


Why not?  Young people are barraged with the message that material goods buy happiness now more than ever.  The fleeting financial bubble we built around ourselves earlier this new century started the self-justified indulgences of many and then the explosion of so many convenient technological gadgets in just the past four years alone has only sped along the “I want it now” syndrome.  Kids growing up today don’t know any different. Let’s help them put things in perspective.


As my 15-year-old niece informed me at Christmas, not having a smart phone pretty much means a less convenient, less connected, less than full life and that she is miserably the “only one at her school who doesn’t have an iPhone.” I, on the other hand, had to applaud my sister for standing her ground.


Children follow the trends of celebrities. Kim Kardashian’s teen sisters, who are launching their own fashion line at just 15 and 17-years old (an anomaly years ago- now commonplace), just tweeted this week about their many pairs of $1,000 luxury shoes to their adoring young fans.  It’s no wonder that a recent University Research study cites a spike in specialty or designer stores for 12- to 20-year-olds in the past ten years.  


So it shouldn’t be too shocking that a new on-line industry of “arrangement sites” is cropping up at college campuses nationwide. At least half a million young people, mainly young women, are selling themselves for sex. They are labeled “sugar babies” in the industry and are connected to older, wealthy “sugar daddies” (of which there are nearly two million registered today and the industry is booming since first launching in 2008.)


 These young people say the arrangement helps them live the lifestyles they feel they deserve- enjoying lavish trips, buying fancy clothes, even having plastic surgery.  Another large portion claim to be victims- claiming they sell themselves out because it is necessary to pay for the steep cost of college today.  Whatever happened to getting up early and waiting tables at the weekend breakfast shift to work through college? These 18-24 year olds say the high rate of tuition coupled with parents who are equally cash-strapped are the reasons they have no other choice than to sell their bodies. It’s as though there were never a tougher time to be young than today.


Struggling through some lean years while starting out in life has been an inevitable part of young peoples’ lives for generations just as wearing hand-me-downs or not getting everything we want for Christmas has been a part of coming of age too.  Let’s dump this notion that anyone who can’t get what they want, or must wait a little longer to get it, is a victim of a bad economy or otherwise.


A credentialed teacher, Julie Samrick is now a stay-at-home mother of four kids and the founder of Kid Focused.


If you enjoyed this post “Like” us on Facebook for updates on more posts like it.


Related post: College Girls Looking for Sugar Daddies Abound




  1. Honestly – I see people not saving for anything, they just buy it! Two parents, both working full time, spend money for daycare, clothes, lunches out, gas, etc. and are still in the want want want circle. Instead of crunching the numebrs for one to stay home and actually RAISE the children, they decide that they would rather selfishly serve their needs. Nothing new. I grew up in a house like that. That’s why I changed, so i didnt end up divorced too! One of us is AWLAYS home during the day, in case one of our kids gets sick, is home from school, etc. We have never used daycare, because we know they largely DONT care. And yes, we have made several sacrifices to do it.

  2. This is so sad. It is difficult to teach children what the difference is between what wants and needs. It is even more tough when the media blurs the lines as well. But I think parents also need to delineate between their own wants and needs. My husband and I have this conversation all the time. It is tricky though!

Speak Your Mind