February 26, 2018

Sexy Halloween Costumes

Sexy Halloween Costumes by Ann Van De Water

I have been looking for Halloween costumes at stores and online lately. I’ve been rather amused by all the SEXY COSTUMES I’ve come across.  Wonder Woman used to be about the only costume that was really sexy.


Now SEXY COSTUMES are everywhere.


I was looking for an Indian or Native American costume and came across “Sexy Indian,” “Tribal Trouble,”  “Sexy Native American,” “Pocahottie,” and “Pow Wow Indian Princess,”  with a suggestion to “put the WOW in your Pow Wow.”


Sexy Pirate,  Sexy Vampire,  Sexy Dorothy, Sexy Red Riding Hood. Sexy Cowgirl.  Sexy Vampire.  Sexy Chef.  Sexy Umpire.  Sexy Eskimo.  Sexy Princess. Sexy Witch. You name it.  It can be sexied up.  Most of the costumes involve plunging or off-the-shoulder necklines and very short skirts.  And thigh-high boots, preferably in patent leather.


I think there’s a great Saturday Night Skit in here somewhere.  Or maybe several.  With some fun background music.


I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts

I’m a model you know what I mean

And I do my little turn on the catwalk


But enough about what I was singing in Target’s Halloween aisle.


Now I’ve been wondering what costumes might not work as a sexy version. Sexy Garbage Collector. Sexy Lunchlady.  Sexy Angry Bird (or Pig).  Sexy Hockey Player.


Sadly, I can imagine some of the above costumes being sexified.


I’ve been sullied by all this sexiness.


Ann is a former English teacher who is now a stay-at-home Mom of 9 year old twin girls.





  1. Ha ha, this is so true! Last year I was a very un-sexy jail bird with a black eye, but this year I did manage to find a ‘not too sexy’ vampira costume…it took some work to find!

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