It’s that time of year again. Yep, back to school time.
What? The 100 plus degree temperatures and early August date fooled you? Don’t get me started on the bizarre calendar of Rescue School District where my kids attend school. Seriously, come on and rescue me.
It was time for the last hurrah of the summer earlier this week and I’d like to give out an award in another nod to the Olympics. I officially grant a brave group of women the Gold Medal for a water sport that involves aerobic and anaerobic activity, bravery for putting not just our feet but faces near slimy mats that other people’s feet have touched, and hutzpah for WEARING SWIMSUITS IN PUBLIC that with water pressure sometimes cause swim tops to reveal more than originally intended (Objects in these swim tops may appear closer than they are.) There were also some serious wedgies. In case you were wondering, tankinis are the official swimsuit of these Gold Medal Moms.
So, yeah, my friends and I took our kids to a water slide park yesterday and rode the waves. (The silver goes to Daring Diane for organizing the event and keeping track of 6 boys plus her own two children.)
I know we had as much fun as our kids, maybe more! Sure, one of my friends had to wear her orthotic flip flops. (I like to think of her as Flip.) Another has an allergy to cold water (Yes, it’s a real condition known as Cold urticaria) so she had to settle for chatting in the shade and enjoying an Icee. AHHH, Icee the most refreshing treat I’ve had in a while. (I think I’ll call her Ice Ice Baby rather than Allergy Audrey.) I am considering calling myself Hillary in honor of the great mountaineer Sir Edmund Hillary, as I am now ready for Mt. Everest, after climbing into different stratospheres to reach the top of Double Dare!
Despite my friend, “Concerned but Courageous Kristin,” clearly stating earlier that she would not do any rides that involved getting into one of those fiberglass, coffin-like tube things, she and I were …PEER PRESSURED to ride Double Dare by Flip. Okay, her real name is Caroline. Yeah, she double dog dared us. She told us “it will be fun,” “you’ll like it,” and all the things you’ve heard the bad kids say in After School Specials. After realizing I did not want to tell my daredevil daughters that I was a lame Mom since “all the cool Moms were doing it,” I stepped into Double Dare, crossed my ankles, was sprayed on my back by a whoosh of cold water, and felt my stomach leave me as I dropped at least a gazillion feet through a tube, down a slide, winding up swirling around, and screamed (inside at least), I’M ALIVE!! And that was just the first ride.
Several adventures include a “Toilet Bowl” feature where one whirls and swirls while sitting in a double or quadruple inner tube until one is officially flushed. I finished up with Masterblaster, Revolution, and Six Shooter, avoiding Stealth, Dark Hole, and Vortex, preferring to stop while I was still upright, mobile, concussion-free, and in possession of most of my faculties.
I also didn’t want to one-up my kids. That might be overdoing things. Let them think they’re the cool ones. My peeps and I are fine with that.
Ann is a former high school English teacher and now a stay-at-home mom of 10-year-old twin girls.
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