November 23, 2017

How I Grew From a Scared Little Girl to a Strong Woman

By Shannon Alexander

I might not be someone’s first choice, but I am a great choice.  I might not be proud of some of the things I’ve done in the past, but I’m proud of who I am today.  I may not be perfect, but I don’t need to be. I am the way God made me.   -Anonymous


I haven’t always thought this way. It’s taken me quite some time to accept me as I am; mistakes, shortcomings, quirkiness and every experience in between. As I look back I realize if just one thing changed, I would not be who I am today. Every single aspect of what I’ve encountered has collectively made me the person I am today.


Like many people, I’ve had a hard life with many ups and downs with hardships including personal and family tragedies, poverty, alcoholism, abuse, abandonment, fraud, divorce and the list goes on.  As much as I’ve encountered, surviving and thriving were never connected, primarily due to the lack of education and know how. So you fake it till you make it; and that’s exactly what I did.


Each day that I continued the façade my self-hatred increased. Who I was, what I went through, how I handled it or avoided it; my subconscious echoed daily words of unworthiness. I was no longer a victim to anyone but my own self-inflicted wounds. I stood in the way of my own success by continually imposing thoughts causing undue mental stress, anguish, and self-sabotage.


As I began this journey, I longed for a helping hand, support, encouragement and guidance.  I needed help to climb out of my hole, decide where I wanted to go, establish goals and to hold myself accountable. Lacking support, I leaned on what I knew best, beating myself up. I became obsessed, addicted to the one thing that I had control over. I limited and put restrictions upon myself by negative self talk and devalued sense of self.


As time passed, I was surviving, working with others to reach their success, while I continued to travel this downward spiral.  I vowed if I ever overcame these obstacles, I would create something to help others get over their own ‘stop gaps’.


While I recognized my purpose in life was to empower and encourage others, my efforts were limited.  Not until years later was I able to comprehend that healing myself was essential in reaching the masses. I was unable to let my purpose resonate to the fullest extent until I was willing to undergo the transformation.


Through reflection and setting the stage for change, I confronted the limiting beliefs and interrupted the negative self talk.  The implemented techniques allowed me to overcome the stop-gaps that I placed there. In doing so, I opened my eyes to a new world of opportunities of great magnitude. At that moment, I began living; a renewal both internally and externally. By breaking self-destructive patterns, and embracing my worthiness, positive energy and improved outlook, I met and married an incredible man and I started my own company, but most importantly I fell in love with me!


My journey has brought me to an incredible place. I always remind myself to find something positive in every negative situation. I’m blessed to share my story while being an advocate of others in overcoming their stop-gaps. I’ve lived through it and I am here to say you can too!


Regardless of where you are or where you’ve been you are worthy!

Remember, your thoughts color your experiences and what you are to become… so dream brilliantly… make the impossible possible!


I’ve listened to this song a million times and it still makes me cry. Big thanks to Jason Mraz, for helping me love myself.


A Song For A Friend:


Shannon Alexander, the CFO and founder of eCubed Coaching is a life coach on a mission to educate, empower and encourage clients in overcoming self induced ‘stop gaps’ which often hinder their success. Through recognition and implementation of simple techniques, positive, lasting, and immediate changes are possible, promoting organizational, professional and personal success.

Shannon’s eager to answer her calling, making a difference in other’s lives. She is passionate about providing enlightenment and guidance for those seeking to understand their own purpose.

Shannon has over 15 years of experience with coaching and consulting in clinical, educational and business psychology and human resources working in a multitude of industries. She is an innovative and goal-oriented professional with a solid background in organizational, leadership and performance development, as well as team building, talent selection, development and retention, behavior modification modality, special needs life quality, and life/career transition strategy.

Shannon Alexander


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