August 23, 2017

One Memorable Baptism

Shirley Richard has a lot of experience and stories in her 73 years. Here is a funny story from her own childhood.  Thanks, Shirley!

 

I grew up on a farm in Missouri and we were members of the local Southern Baptist Church.  Baptism is by immersion and is quite a big deal.  When my brother was four years old,  he stood in water almost as high as he was and the preacher of our church baptized him.

Shortly after the big event, my brother converted all of our chickens.  There he was with a big tank of water in the barnyard.  My sister and I watched as he grabbed each chicken and stood it in the water.  Then, as he held the chicken by the neck with one hand, he raised the other hand righteously and solemnly said,  “Chicken Jones, do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

When the chicken didn’t say anything, he took that as a “yes” and went on to finish the job with these important words:  “I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  Amen!”  Then he dunked the chicken.

Well, each chicken came up looking like it had been to hell and back.

Chickens don’t have sense enough to come in out of the rain, so getting that much water probably gave them all psychological problems. Not that it mattered, since the destiny of each one was my mother’s frying pan.

When my brother ran out of chickens, he started in on our dolls.  My sister and I rescued our nicest ones, but the ones who got religion came out of the water looking like they had a dreadful disease.  The paint peeled off their faces and they were never the same.

I often think of that day — many long years ago.

Shirley Richard

 

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